Problems with the Statement on Homosexuality

In the past month or so there has been much discussion of a "Statement of Principles on the Place of Jews with a Homosexual Orientation in Our Community".

I contemplated signing the document, but in the end decided not to, and instead have finally written up some of my reasons for not doing so and are posting them here.

In short - the document is trying to move the orthodox community I think it should go in, one it needs to go in. As others have said before me, the main thrust of the Statement of Principals is that all people should be treated with respect regardless of sexual orientation.

But, rather than issuing this short message, the Statement tries to flesh out some of the details, and does so in ways that I don't always agree with.

Here are my comments on the clauses in the original, and a couple of 'meta-issues' below follow after the clauses:

Clause 3: I question whether "Halakhah sees heterosexual marriage as the ideal model and sole legitimate outlet for human sexual expression" as is claimed in this clause of the Statement. What about pelegeshim/concubines and premarital relations (a debate for another post - but Ramban was matir while Rambam who was not)? While they may not be ideal, they might be legitimate.

I am also curious about Halakhah's sexual ethics for non-Jews. While I know the Statement addresses those 'in our community' - AKA Jews - the statement has been and will be read by some as being Judaism's view on the world, not Judaism's view on Jews. While the sheva mitzvot clearly encourage marriage, do they require it? And in light of a prior post on the meaning of Toeva, perhaps homosexuality is allowed for non-Jews. I certainly don't recall seeing it forbidden in any interpretations/compendiums I have read of the noahide laws.

Clause 4: What is the meaning of "Halakhic Judaism views all male and female same-sex sexual interactions as prohibited"? What is a sexual interaction? Can I hug fellow men? Only if I'm not gay, perhaps only if they also aren't? Where do we draw the line? And, I recall having learnt of more liberal stances on lesbianism. Rabbi Chaim Rapaport has even pondered whether lesbian couples need to keep hilchot niddah with each other.

Clause 5: "Whatever the origin or cause of homosexual orientation, many individuals believe that for most people this orientation cannot be changed. Others believe that for most people it is a matter of free will. Similarly, while some mental health professionals and rabbis in the community strongly believe in the efficacy of “change therapies”, most of the mental health community, many rabbis, and most people with a homosexual orientation feel that some of these therapies are either ineffective or potentially damaging psychologically for many patients." Here I must ask - why give this much credit to change therapy? If it doesn't work, state that, and don't give it undue credit. I've known a few people who have undergone change therapy, some have even gotten married to a partner of the opposite sex afterwards. I haven't followed the lives of everyone I have met who underwent change therapy, but know it did not work for some (including some who really wanted it to work for them as they saw it as a theological need). But every single one of the marriages I know of has ended with the formerly homosexual partner realizing they are still homosexual.

Clause 11: This clause talks about how "Halakhic Judaism cannot give its blessing and imprimatur to Jewish religious same-sex commitment ceremonies and weddings" but must accept the families that spring from such relationships. I've seen a few blogs claim the later part of this clause, the acceptance, is a back door trying to force the orthodox world to accept same-sex commitment ceremonies and weddings. It may be. But my problem is actually that it shouldn't be a back door acceptance. While a halachic wedding (kiddushin) can not be enacted when the partners don't fit certain criteria, that doesn't preclude the Jewish establishments provision for an alternate ceremony. One with no 'halachic' meaning. After all, even if just from a pikuach nefesh perspective, wouldn't halakha prefer a monogamous homosexual partnership to a forbidden gay/lesbian promiscuous single life? And, committing to live together doesn't need to mean committing to do forbidden acts together. There could even be a 'frum' commitment ceremony where a couple commits to care for each other, to love each other, and to work to contain the physical expressions of their desires to only those which they (and their rabbi?) find halachically acceptable.

Clause 12: Here the Statement says that "under most circumstances" homosexual Jews should not be encouraged to marry people of the opposite gender. What troubles me is the implication that in some cases they should be encouraged to. So what cases would this be? Further, might there be halachic questions as to whether or not they even can marry?

Meta-Issues:

Transgendered Individuals: OK - so this statement addresses the LG part of the LGBT community, and in ignoring bisexuals tells them to suppress/ignore their non-heterosexual desires. But it provides no framework whatsoever for dealing with transgendered individuals. Again, the statement overall is a step towards inclusion. But, I would like a statement that is even more inclusive, one that includes gender identity. This is a topic with much debate - in the mid-late 90's as Dana International represented Israel at Eurovision a number of poskim discussed the issue, and with an array of opinions. Is it too much to ask for a statement calling on the acceptance of all members of the Jewish community regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or the likes? Their ritual roles may not be equal (hey - gender differentiation is one of the defining hallmarks of orthodoxy in the liberal 21st century world), but the individuals should be welcomed in.

Role of a Statement: Does having a statement in and of it self further the cause of creating open communities, or does it hinder the cause? The statement is irrelevant to most of the open-orthodox/liberal end of the halachic spectrum, and it will likely be ignored (or chastised) by much of the more right/conservative end of that very spectrum. So, does it bring attention in a positive or negative manner. I don't know the answer, but am intrigued by the question.